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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22827967">Forget about me, Darling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deliasbabe/pseuds/Deliasbabe'>Deliasbabe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The World As We Know It [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Like this hurt, This is angsty af I'm sorry, and probably cry, you are going to hate me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 13:07:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22827967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deliasbabe/pseuds/Deliasbabe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cordelia and reader deal with Cordelia fading during apocalypse. Major Angst Warning.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cordelia Foxx | Cordelia Goode/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The World As We Know It [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641106</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Forget about me, Darling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>You can send me requests on tumblr! <br/>https://deliasbabe.tumblr.com/</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Y/N, It’s almost 3am. You need to get some rest, love.” Cordelia said softly, catching you sitting on the couch in the library, your head in your hands and a spell book cracked open on your lap. It had been three days since Madison had returned from that house in Los Angeles, three days since you learned that the boy who was supposed to be the next supreme wasn’t a supreme at all, he wasn’t even a warlock. He was the Anti-Christ, and he had picked your loving girlfriend as his next target.</p><p> </p><p>You had tried to bury your feelings. You had tried to be strong and supportive for Cordelia. Always there when she needed you, the shoulder to cry on, the smile when she needed it the most, because it wasn’t about you, was it? It was about her, about protecting the girls from danger, and she didn’t need to have to pick up your broken pieces too. It just wasn’t about you.</p><p>But that night, after you heard about one of Cordelia’s fainting spells, you cracked, tucking yourself away in the library with one of the books from Cordelia’s office, one of the books she wouldn’t dare let the girls touch. It was a last resort, a desperate cling onto the life you were supposed to have. None of the other books had a spell strong enough, and you were more than willing to risk your life if it meant Cordelia could live. You were certain that Cordelia’s ailments were the result of Michael’s dark forces, that he was the one doing this to her, and you couldn’t live with yourself if you just sat by and idly watched. You hadn’t been at the academy very long, definitely not long enough to be at the level needed to master what you were trying to do, but you knew you had to power to, you had to, there wasn’t another option.</p><p>You shook your head, not even bothering to look up at your girlfriend. “I need to get this.” You muttered, fighting off exhaustion with every fiber of your being. You were surprised she even found you, knowing she went to bed hours earlier, too exhausted to even stay up to make sure the girls were in bed like she always did. You thought you were safe, but then again, your girlfriend knew you better than you knew yourself, and it wasn’t entirely uncommon for her to have to drag you to bed.</p><p>Cordelia shook her head at your stubbornness, moving to perch next to you on the loveseat and tucking a stray hair behind your ear. Even in her deteriorated state, she still was trying to take care of you, and you cursed yourself for even forcing her to get out of bed. “You can work on it tomorrow.” Cordelia said softly as you shook your head once again, “You need sleep. You’re wearing yourself too thin.”</p><p>“I’ll only work for a little while longer then I’ll come join you.” You said quietly, hoping the sweetness of your tone might make her concede. You didn’t dare look to meet your supreme’s gaze, knowing once she saw your red rimmed eyes it was game over, if it wasn’t already. You knew if she looked in your eyes she would see the sheer desperation, and you didn’t want that, didn’t want to burden her with your own pain. Tomorrow, you could shove everything back down and plaster on a smile, you just needed tonight, needed to let the demons run wild for even just a few hours. You just needed to get this right.</p><p>But Cordelia could see past your sweet words, could see the way your brows were crinkled together, the way your usually graceful movements were sharp and frazzled, could hear the frustration behind your tone. She knew your dedication was a force to be reckoned with, but she was the voice of reason that had permanently etched itself into the back of your brain. Always calm, always gentle, usually right. She ran her hand up and down your back, noticing how you tensed at her touch and recoiled slightly. She tried to sooth you into bed, but that just made it all worse. You buried your fingers in your hair, digging your nails into your scalp and tugging on the roots, needing some sort of release for all this frustration, all this pain. “I have to get it.” You spit out between gritted teeth, Cordelia’s eyes widening at the shift in tone.</p><p>“You will, baby.” She tried to soothe, not understanding how a spell could get you this worked up, “But you need to give it time. Your powers are still growing.”</p><p>“We don’t <em>have</em> time.” You practically growled as you lost any last bit of self-control you possessed. It wasn’t her fault, you knew she didn’t deserve it, but every second she tried to soothe you was one less second you had to get this right, and your time was limited. You had dealt with loss before. It was the one constant, but in finding Cordelia you were able to move past it, and now all that progress, all that <em>love</em>, was slipping out of your grasp like sand. It was a race against the clock, and you were losing. “I need to be able to do this.” You said quietly, tears welling behind your eyelids, making your voice waver ever so slightly. She deserved an apology, you knew she did, but it was all you could do to not burst into tears on the spot, and she knew that.</p><p>“Do what?” Cordelia asked, her tone quickly shifting to one of concern. You were never like this, hadn’t so much as raised your voice to her. The only time you ever got angry was at yourself, you always were too hard on yourself. “What are you working on?” She asked, now ready to help in whatever way she could as she reached for the book.</p><p>You quickly tugged the book out of her grasp, making her gasp in shock, “Give it back. I need to focus.” It was the first time you had bothered to meet her gaze, and she could see the animalistic look in your eye. It scared her, but what scared her more was the way you pressed the book to your chest, gripping it so tightly your knuckles turned white.</p><p>“Y/N, just let me look so I know how to help you.” She said, feeling her anxiety pick up in her chest as you shook your head and got teary eyed, “Baby what is it?” You didn’t respond, and she let herself glance down at the book in your arms, recognizing the title immediately as dread filled her stomach. She knew what was in that book, and yes, it was mostly advanced spells, but it also contained dark magic, and by the way you were acting, you had something to hide. She blinked rapidly, not knowing how to handle the situation. You were always responsible, always careful. You were the one she never had to worry about.</p><p>The color drained from your face, sniffling a little as you carefully set the book down. You knew what she was thinking, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it to her, you had to tell the truth. “Y/N…” Cordelia began carefully, “You know I don’t want any of the girls practicing dark magic.”</p><p>“It’s not dark magic.” You stated, watching her hesitate to believe you, “It’s a protection spell.” Cordelia looked confused and utterly dazed, and you couldn’t help but hide your face, knowing in only a matter of moments all your pain would be out on display, tears streaming down your cheeks. You knew she would never let you complete it, wouldn’t let you master it, because protection spells always came with a catch. Energy could not be created nor destroyed, even in magic. For the tamer protection spells it simply made you weaker, temporarily, in order to account for the energy transferred to its target. But with one this strong, especially if your powers weren’t at their full potential, there was a higher risk. It could kill you, and she wouldn’t have that, wouldn’t let you even take that chance.</p><p>It must have been the late hour, because your usually sharp supreme clearly wasn’t getting what you were trying to say. “For who?” She asked after prying your hands away from your face and lifting your chin, her heart breaking once she saw the tears. There was nothing more she hated than to see you cry, to know you were in pain and not be able to help.</p><p>“For you.” You whispered, grasping onto the ends of the book tightly as you looked away from the pure devastation on her face. “I just have to try a few more times. I know I can do it.” You say forcefully once Cordelia tried to pry the book from your grasp. If she took it, then it would all be over, and you just couldn’t give this up.</p><p>She didn’t say anything for a few moments, didn’t know what <em>to</em> say. She hadn’t been truthful with you about what was going on, wanted to save you from the pain of her dying and knowing there was nothing you could do about it. You had seen her faint, had carried her to bed more times than she could count, but you never asked questions, you always were just there, and she couldn’t believe she had missed all the signs. Couldn’t believe she hadn’t bothered to check on you. You always were there for everyone else, but she was the one person who was there for you, and she wasn’t when you needed her the most.</p><p>Truthfully, as displeased as she was about waking up in the middle of the night and not finding you there beside her, she was glad she had forced herself out of bed to check on you. Glad she was there to stop yourself from giving up everything, all for nothing. knowing your determination, you would have eventually gotten the spell to work, would have drained yourself of the very life force Cordelia loved desperately. Even if you hadn’t, if you had given up and gone to bed, Cordelia knew if she hadn’t gotten up that she would never know, never know how broken you truly were. You would push it all away and plaster on a smile, and Cordelia would be blind once again.</p><p>“Baby, put it down.” Cordelia finally said gently. Snot was dripping down your face and mingling with your tears, running into your mouth, but you refused to lift one of your hands to wipe at it, knowing the second you did the book would be gone and you would have to succumb to failure. You shook your head as the tears fell faster, and this wasn’t how you expected this night to go. She wasn’t supposed to find out, she was never supposed to find out, and you felt your chest get tight as another sob was lodged in your throat. Just another way you failed her. Pieces of you were falling everywhere, and all you could do was let it happen.</p><p>But there Cordelia was again, lifting your chin and forcing you to look at her, her own tears flowing now as she stroked your wet cheek. “Love,” She said, her voice soft and wavering, “Put it down so I can hold you.”</p><p>Before you knew it the book was thrown to the floor. You weren’t sure if Delia tugged you towards her or if you dived forward, but soon she was on her back with you fully on top of her, pressing your head to her chest as you cried hysterically. It must have been impossible for her to breathe, but she didn’t dare shift you, so you took it upon yourself to shift your body between the back of the couch and her, squeezing into the tiny space. She gave a breathy laugh, marveling at how even in your darkest moments you still were trying to make it easy for her, like you were trying to make your pain as convenient as possible.</p><p>“I don’t need protecting.” Cordelia said softly, carding her hands through your hair, dreading having to face the conversation head on, “There’s nothing you can do.”</p><p>“Yes I can.” You said, your voice muffled from your face being buried, “It’s because of him. I can stop it; I know I can.”</p><p>“My sweet girl…” Cordelia mused, trying her hardest to not kiss you. If she kissed you, she wouldn’t be able to do it. If she kissed you, it would make her forget about the inevitable. You always helped her forget, but you weren’t forgetting, and she couldn’t bear to string you along, not after this. “It’s not because of him, baby. He’s not hurting me. I’m… I’m fading.”</p><p>She felt you still at this, like if you didn’t move maybe you could disappear and the truth would go and find someone else to haunt. But when it didn’t dissipate you shook your head, muttering, “No, no, no. No way, it can’t be.” You had dealt with the idea of her fading before, when Michael was crowned supreme, but you pushed it away when you learned the truth. If Cordelia was fading, then there was a new supreme rising, but it couldn’t possibly be, you couldn’t imagine a world where there wasn’t Cordelia.</p><p>Fresh tears fell from your supreme as she rested her lips against your forehead and nodded, “It’s true. I can feel it, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Nothing <em>you</em> can do about it.”</p><p>“No, no, no.” You repeated, curling into her even further, like she could banish the grief that threatened to consume you. Your mind was revolting against you with no semblance of clear thought. Even learning the world would end was easier than this, because if the world was gone than so were you. But you built a life with Cordelia, you made plans, concrete plans, with marriage and kids and a dog named Skipper. You had the ring hidden in your sock drawer, had planned to propose before things had gotten so messy. You had a <em>plan</em>, and Cordelia dying was not part of that plan. “It could be something else.” You said, pushing away the tears that threatened to fall and launching yourself into a sitting position, “It could be a vision, like the rotting.” You said, continuing to list off every possible thing it could be, anything that would help your utter rejection that the most important person in your life would suddenly not be there anymore.</p><p>Cordelia sat and listened to your rambling patiently, never cutting in to dispute, despite her knowing that her words were true. She didn’t want to push, she never pushed, and she knew you had to work through this in your own way, despite her heart shattering into smaller and smaller pieces every time you came up with something else. But as much as she tried to pretend she was listening intently, as you rambled on her eyes filled with tears, wishing she could do anything to take this pain away. She knew about the ring, had known since the day you bought it. Coco was never very good with secrets, and she had let it slip that very night after too much tequila. She knew you had held off, wanting your engagement to be blissful and uneventful, that you had planned an evening full of dinner and romance and a trip to all the favorite places you shared. Worst of all, she knew that day would never come, that as hard as she tried to give you the world, the one you two built was crashing down, never to be repaired.</p><p>In a way, dying was the easier part of the deal. Her world just stopped, a finite end, but you, <em>you</em> had to <em>live</em>. Had to spend the rest of your days coping with yet another death you had no say in. Had to wonder what might have been. The supreme didn’t know when exactly the world would end, didn’t know if she would live to see it, but something in her told her you would survive, because your story wasn’t finished. It couldn’t be finished, Cordelia was merely a part of it, a chapter in a never ending book, and she was grateful for the time she had, the time she <em>would</em> have.</p><p>Eventually, your rambles stopped, out of options, and you had to face the truth. You didn’t want to say it, couldn’t bear to mutter the words, so you sat silently, praying if this was a nightmare that you would wake up soon. You knew Cordelia wanted to hold you, wanted to banish the darkness from every corner of your mind, but you wouldn’t allow yourself the reprieve. Avoidance had always been your specialty, but you couldn’t avoid this, you had to say it.</p><p>“You’re dying.” You finally whispered as the sun began to peek up, Cordelia staring at you with heartbroken eyes, like she was hearing it for the first time. There was a finality when you spoke it, a second wave of grief she didn’t know existed, and she quickly wiped her tears and nodded.</p><p>“Yea, baby. I am.” Cordelia said softly, tugging you back toward her and circling her arms around you like a small child. Finally, you allowed yourself that reprieve, burying your head into the crook of her neck, knowing that no matter what happened, she would keep you safe.</p><p>In the blink of an eye she had transmutated you both to the bedroom, spell book in hand. She quickly threw it on her nightstand then turned back to you, your eyes swollen and red. Normally you would hold her, would let her rest her head on your chest and whisper soothing things in her ear. But tonight wasn’t about her, tomorrow and every day after would be about her, you would make sure of that. Tonight was about you, so with one swift motion she pulled you close, pressing her lips to your forehead and humming softly as she trailed her fingertips down your spine, giving you no choice but to sleep.</p><p>A few weeks later hellfire rained down on the academy, Michael fulfilling his promise and killing most of the witches. Cordelia was beside herself, and you did your best to comfort her. The identity spell had left her weak, and you laid with her on Misty’s bed, gently running your hands through her hair in an effort to calm her restless mind. You asked what you could do, how you could help, but your supreme brushed you off, telling you she had a plan for you, but refusing to elaborate on what that plan was.</p><p>You two had managed to fall asleep in exactly that position, and Cordelia woke before you the next morning, ready to put her plan into action. It was harder than she thought it would be, especially when you woke up the second she moved off the bed. “Shh, love. I’m right here, go back to sleep.” She soothed, hoping you didn’t open your eyes and see the tears that were streaked down her face. She had this plan for months, she just didn’t know if she could go through with it.</p><p>“Love you.” You sleepily muttered out, and through her tears she grinned. Even now, when the world was practically in shambles, you still where there showering her with love and affection.</p><p>“I love you too, so much. You have no idea, but you need to sleep now. Forget about me, darling.” She whispered back, stroking your hair as you pushed your cheek into her palm, making her laugh.</p><p>“Never.” You muttered, and in an instant you were fast asleep, her touch being the only thing you needed to calm you. You trusted Cordelia whole heartedly, wherever she led you would follow, you knew she would keep you safe, and that was exactly what she intended to do.</p><p>For you, the identity spell was a little different. You still were yourself, just as stubborn and caring as ever, but all your memories, everything about the coven, about Cordelia, was wiped away without a trace. Cordelia didn’t just want you alive, she wanted you happy, and as much as she didn’t want you to forget about her, as much as she would never forget about you, she knew you had to. It was easier with the girls, she knew she would see them again, break them out of their haze. But this was the last time she would see you, and she tried to memorize the lines on your face, the way you frowned when she finally removed her hand and reached for the white powder. Even if Mallory succeeded, things would never be the same, and as she went to leave, she pressed one more lingering kiss to your head, and stared at your sleeping form for just a moment longer.</p><p>When you woke she was gone, and as you glanced around the unfamiliar space, your eyes landed on a piece of paper tucked under the pillow she once resided on. You lifted it to see a one-way ticket to small island off the coast of New Zealand. It was a place you had always dreamed of going, and unbeknownst to you, an island Michael had accidentally left off of his plans. Along with it were your passport, car keys, and a brand new debit card. Cordelia had made sure of it that you would never have to worry about money again, and had transferred everything she had to you. She wanted to make sure you were taken care of no matter what.</p><p>You didn’t know where it came from, didn’t even know how you had gotten there, but you weren’t one to ask questions. Your bag was packed, and there really wasn’t anything left for you to do but go, and you wandered out the door and down the path to the main road, spotting a car parked there. You didn’t look behind you, you had no reason to, but if you did, you might have spotted a woman dressed in all black staring back at you, and you might have stopped, but you didn’t. You just kept on walking.</p>
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